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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26988193">One day, "One Day" is Today</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamyafterdark/pseuds/dreamyafterdark'>dreamyafterdark</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinPotato/pseuds/NinPotato'>NinPotato</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Boys Kissing, Brendol Hux's A+ Parenting, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylux - Freeform, Kylux Big Bang 2020, M/M, Misunderstandings, Model Kylo Ren, Physical Abuse, Protective Kylo Ren, Shyness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:08:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,258</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26988193</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamyafterdark/pseuds/dreamyafterdark, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinPotato/pseuds/NinPotato</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Armitage Hux lives with his father Brendol, a violent alcoholic. Things weren't always this messed up, but as they move from bad to worse, something breaks inside Armitage and he is desperate for a change. When he crosses paths with an "angel", it is very hard not to fall for him. But Kylo Ren the human has a dark side, too...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Kylux Big Bang 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>One day, "One Day" is Today</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Art by the very talented artist and writer NinPotato who you can also find on <a href="https://twitter.com/NinPotato1">Twitter</a> and <a href="https://ninpotato.tumblr.com">Tumblr</a>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sunbeams dancing on the tip of Armie's nose, and all across his forehead. Making his pale skin glow with gentle warmth. Running down into his red-golden hair. He smiled in his sleep; he knew this place, this dream. Had been here many times...</p><p>A wheat field, with some woods off to the side, and a little path where he'd parked his bike, before walking right into this sea of green and gold...</p><p>The wheat stalks coming up to his hips, brushing against his legs, tickling the inside of his palms as he let his hands run through them...</p><p>And over the horizon, far off and bathed in clouds, a range of mountains, underneath a wide open sky. Armie's breath deepened, clearing his mind and making him feel... strong. Hopeful. Able. One day, he'd climb these mountains. He would. One day...- But not today.</p><p>Not today. Because just like that, the clouds started to darken, the weather turned, and everything went black. An angry voice ripped through the air, making Armie run. So fast. Run back to his bike - but he couldn't find it, he couldn't *find* it, he couldn't *get out*... - and the plants started grabbing at him, fighting him, and-</p><p>He woke up. Bathed in sweat, heart hammering in his chest. The dream vanished as he caught his breath, only the voice calling him remained. It was real. It was angry. It was his father. Brendol Hux, disgraced academic, failed businessman, accomplished alcoholic-</p><p>"Armitage!! Get down here!!!"</p><p>One more breath. One more moment resisting, before he would get up and do whatever his father wanted this time.</p><p>
  <br/>
</p><p>It wasn't much. These stolen moments of defiance, the tiny victories here and there. It wasn't much, but they spelled out the boundaries of Armie's world. A small, sad, pathetic world. Claustrophobic. But his.</p><p>
  <br/>
</p><p>"Don't burn it again. You always burn it.", Brendol grunted.</p><p>Armie silently handed over a plate with fresh toast, bracing himself for the ensuing onslaught. Because it didn't really matter how much he tried at anything, it was never good enough, or- it was never something he could trust. Brendol wasn't predictable in what he found fault with, or how much. It was only predictable that he would, eventually, find fault with something. It was like an itch he needed to scratch. Like drinking itself, even if he tried to stop, eventually the urge would come and he would have to find something about Armie that he could tear down. And lately, Brendol didn't seem to have much inclination to stop any urge whatsoever. Armie thought he remembered a time when things hadn't been this bad, but it was hard sometimes, his memories had started to get foggy, perhaps it had just always been this way, perhaps he even deserved it.</p><p>As it was, this morning's toast was fine. But Brendol wasn't.</p><p>"Your hair's getting too long... Untidy... It's a disgrace... You're fucking disgracing me..."</p><p>While his words escalated, his voice didn't. So far so good. Armie kept his eyes on the washing up, focussed on the soap bubbles floating up, the feel of the wet sponge in his hands...</p><p>"I'll get it cut...", he offered softly.</p><p>Brendol grunted into his coffee. He made some more complaints, nothing major. They formed a steady stream of background noise, Armie could almost have zoned out, if he wasn't always scanning for signs of sudden spikes. Those were dangerous, and they had been coming more and more often...- Suddenly, Armie dropped a cup. His shoulders twitched in anticipation, but - nothing. Brendol just huffed, and moved to another page in his paper. As quietly as possible, Armie took a deep breath, and bent down to pick the cup up and put it back into the sink. See, it hadn't even broken, it hadn't even chipped...</p><p>
  <br/>
</p><p>When everything was done, Armie wiped his hands dry on the towel. Now he could go upstairs and feed Millie. All her stuff, including her food, was upstairs. Even the smell of the cat food was an irritant to Brendol now. He'd never been a fan of having a cat in the house, but now he straight up hated her. Still, the feeling was mutual. Millie could tell if anything smelled of Brendol, and gave it a wide berth. Sometimes, Armie had to change his clothes before she would come near him. It was just as well, because it meant Millie stayed upstairs, somewhere Brendol hadn't made it in years. He lived downstairs, used the downstairs bathroom, and of course, blamed the stairs themselves for it. Too narrow, apparently.</p><p>"You not having anything, boy?"</p><p>"I'm fine. I need to get ready for class."</p><p>"Too good to have breakfast with your own father, eh..."</p><p>Armie had ignored that, and was halfway through the door, when he heard the click of a can opening... He should have kept walking. He should have just let it go, but for some reason, that day, he didn't. That day, he just couldn't. For fuck's sake. It was 8 am in the morning.</p><p>"Dad, do you have to-"</p><p>It was a mistake. Armie knew it right away, and stopped in the middle of his sentence like a faucet being turned off. Brendol grunted into his beer. Did he hear? Did Armie get away with it? He stood, unsure how himself and watched his father gulping down half of the can, then fix him with a *very* nasty stare.</p><p>"You don't still have that fleabag up there, do you?"</p><p>The tone in Brendol's voice started a high-pitched ringing in Armie's ears. It - This - Millie living upstairs hadn't been a problem before, it was fine, wasn't this fine, didn't they have an agreement?</p><p>"Animals carry diseases, and I don't have the spare money to feed another useless mouth.", Brendol added, as he slowly stood up and grabbed a plastic bag and... a large knife. "Shoulda done this years ago..."</p><p>"No!!!", Armie screamed, and tried to block his way. This wasn't happening! This wasn't happening!!!</p><p>"Why are you doing this? She hasn't done any harm!!!", he pleaded.</p><p>"Out of my way, boy!!", Brendol snarled, and pushed Armie so hard he almost fell. He got up as fast as he could and rushed to the stairs, but Brendol was already on them. He was slow, but too large for Armie to fight his way past him. Instead, Armie pulled at him, clawing with increasing desperation at his father, as they slowly climbed the stairs. It was ridiculous and crazy and terrifying.</p><p>"Stop it, stop it! Please! I'll get her, I'll figure something out... Please!"</p><p>"You're PATHETIC!!!", Brendol roared, and pushed Armie down the stairs.</p><p>Physically, he was alright. He was flexible, and had fallen in a lucky way. But... something else broke, inside him. His father didn't even look back to check how he was, he just kept going up the stairs, and for what?! What had Millicent ever done to him? All the abuse Armie had suffered, he had been putting up with, but now that he was going for Millicent, it was staring Armie in the face: Brendol was a monster. He had to be stop him. As soon as his father reached the top of the stairs, Armie ran up, overtook him on the landing, and reached his room first, pulling the door shut behind him.</p><p>Safe. They'd be safe in here. Brendol would eventually cool down. And then, Armie would take Millicent somewhere safe. He would... but... wait, where was she?</p><p>"Millie?"</p><p>The calm Armie had started feeling dissipated fast, as he began looking through his room and found no trace of-</p><p>"Got you!!"</p><p>An icy shudder ran down Armie's back when he heard Brendol's triumphant words. He rushed back out of his room, just in time to hear Brendol cry out from inside the bathroom, while an orange flash jumped into the hall and sped down the stairs.</p><p>"Piece of shit BIT ME!!", Brendol roared, face full of blind rage, as he stormed out of the bathroom after her. Armie ran down the stairs, watched as Millie raced through the living room, found an open window and jumped out into the garden.</p><p>"Millie!", he called out after her, and then- a dull thud and. Everything. Went. Black.</p><p>
  <br/>
</p><p>When he woke up, he was on the sofa. Brendol grunted something about Armie being weak and pathetic, having fainted - but his split lip begged to differ. His father had punched him, had knocked him out cold. And... continued to hit him when he was unconscious? Armie felt more bruises that didn't make sense from fainting alone, or being knocked out. This... this wasn't... no, it wasn't going to be alright, ever again. This... it had to stop. He sat up, tried to steady himself. His dizzy head. He had to leave. Get out of here. Brendol was calm right now, he had a chance...</p><p>"You've gotten fat. Bloody heavy, picking you up and carrying you onto the sofa. Hurt my back...", Brendol croaked from across the room, finishing his beer. It was ridiculous, his son was borderline underweight, but in his mind he was the victim at all times. Everyone else was at fault, everyone else failed him constantly, and took up too much fucking space... He put down his empty bottle, walked back towards Armie, and kicked the foot of the sofa to get to get up, so he could lie down.</p><p>"Only right you fix it. Come on, boy, Christ knows you aren't good for much else..."</p><p>Armie swallowed down the nausea rising up in him and got up wordlessly. Brendol removed his shirt, then lay down on his stomach, waiting for his son to massage his back. It was insane. After everything that had just happened, after everything he had just done...  Armie tasted blood, as he bit his lips together hard.</p><p>"Come on, I'm getting cold here..."</p><p>Armie tried to focus on the wall, on the light in the room - on anything other than the way Brendol moaned and groaned under his hands. But it was too much, he couldn't stand it any longer-</p><p>"Ouch! Careful, boy!"</p><p>"Sorry, dad. I just want to get rid of these knots for you.", Armie said lightly, knowing full well what he was doing.</p><p>Brendol grunted. Armie continued, and not long after, did it again. And again. Until Brendol finally had enough, all under the guise of going the extra mile to help his father. It was insane that this actually worked, but it had. Somehow it hit a sweet spot between Brendol's low tolerance for anything, and his fragile pride, so rather than punish Armie for doing a bad job, he got him to stop. Saved face. In fact, he had even started to had asked less and less frequently for massages, making it one of Armie's bigger victories. But it didn't matter anymore. Not today.</p><p>"Didn't you say you had school?", Brendol grunted, turning around and showing no sign of getting up or getting dressed.</p><p>"Yeah..."Yeah, I do."</p><p>"Then quit lazing about, and go. Fetch me another beer first, though."</p><p>
  <br/>
</p><p>Half-way through walking up the stairs, Armie had to stop and had to hold on to the railing. He wanted a shower, so badly. But it couldn't even begin to wash all of this off. And he had to go. Now. It was never going to get better, he had to get out of here, except... where to? Where would he go, what would he do? He had no money, and he had... yeah, he had no friends... Not really. Brendol had put paid to that. It had been alright when Armie was in boarding school, but then Brendol had lost his job, and pulled Armie out of school to come live with him. Too expensive to keep paying for the fees. It was uneasy at first, he tried to hide his drinking and keep up appearances, but it didn't last long, and Armie didn't want to bring anyone back to see that. He was afraid of what might happen, and then one day... it did. Graduation day. Brendol hadn't even come, but that was alright with Armie, that was more than alright. What shouldn't have happened was that someone he was friendly with came over on his own accord, to return a jacket Armie lent him. Brendol had opened the door - it was a bad night. After the friend had gone, Brendol switched from jovial and grandiose to bitter and violent. Threw things at Armie, pushed him around. Shouted about shame and disgrace, how the house looked, how he himself looked, how Brendol was surprised and not prepared. And a few days later, suddenly, out of nowhere, he asked Armie what he was doing lending his jacket to another boy? Like some... was he... was he-?!! No son of his would be queer... and that was the first time he used his belt to hit Armie, and certainly not the last. Armie had never defended himself, tried not to provoke him more, but he had thrown his arms up to shield himself, and that was enough to make Brendol rage more... but... what was he meant to do? What was he meant to do... Where would he even go? Was he going to die here... like... this...?</p><p>"Hello? Armitage Hux, is that you?"</p><p>Armie stared down at the phone he was holding, tears streaming down his face. He was sitting on his bed, he couldn't remember getting here, and his phone was connected to... Rae Sloane... Brendol's former boss.</p><p>"Armie?! Did you butt-dial me?!"</p><p>Her warm laugh rang down the line, and Armie laughed back automatically, before breaking into a sob. Rae listened, cooed, and gently insisted with a few questions, until Armie answered. And agreed to switch to video. After which Rae demanded to speak to Brendol.</p><p>Armie really did not want to do that, but once set in motion, Rae Sloane was not going to let up. She literally marched Armie down the stairs and into the living room, and when he handed his phone over to Brendol, she didn't mince her words. Armie watched his father *shrink*, curiously turning into a little boy, who put on his shirt, sat up straight and sputtered excuses that Rae cut down in an instant. And Brendol *shut up*. Armie was fascinated.</p><p>She made Brendol get up, walk up the stairs, show her every room in the house, ending in the kitchen where she made him open the cupboards and fridge...- even the garbage bin. When they returned to the living room, and Rae scolded Brendol for how he was living, and Brendol whimpered like a little kid, Armie couldn't say he didn't enjoy it, but.. he was also getting more and more confused. Why did Rae have such power over Brendol, and why was she so interested in seeing their flat and its content?</p><p>"You should be ashamed of yourself, Brendol! You are living in filth, you're not doing right by that boy. How long has this been going on? We had an agreement."</p><p>Brendol spluttered, begged, promised, and Rae huffed in disdain. She told him to expect check-in calls every week. When she was done, she made Brendol hand the phone over to Armie, and asked him to go show her something in his bedroom again.</p><p>But when Armie was inside, and the door closed behind him, she sighed.</p><p>"This will keep him occupied, but you need to get out of that house. I'll try to fix the money situation, do you have any savings just now? Have you got a place to go? Oh, Armie, I am so sorry.  I should have known something was up when he pulled you out of St. Paul's, but Brendol assured me it was for your own good. That you'd been bullied, and wanted to go to a normal school. Instead, he just pocketed the money for himself. And hurt you - you need to see a doctor! Has he done this before?"</p><p>Armie frowned in confusion, having no idea what money Rae was talking about. As for how Brendol had treated him, well...</p><p>"I'm fine, Ms. Sloane. And no, this is... this was a new one."</p><p>Rae seemed unimpressed with his answer. "See a doctor, just in case? Please? And do you have a place to go? I can- One moment, alright?"</p><p>There was some muffled background noise, before she returned.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Armie, my kids are going crazy. I'll need to call you back. Please get yourself to a safe place, and wait for me. You did the right thing calling me.</p><p>
  <br/>
</p><p>He had smiled. He had promised Rae Sloane that he would take care of himself. And he had gone and taken that shower, a strange kind of numb enveloping him. Armie packed his rucksack for school, put on his hoodie and closed the door to his room behind him. He wasn't going to come back here, was he... This place, full of bad memories, but also... Millie. Now he was walking into the unknown, and waiting to hear back from the former boss of his father's, who he had last seen years ago and... - How did he even have her number? It seemed like a movie to him now, the memory of her taking him to the side a a reception, whispering in his ear to call her if anything happened, putting her number into his phone... Perhaps she was right, perhaps he needed his head checked out, everything felt fuzzy, but maybe it was just shock, and anyway, he had to go no, keep going. No time to waste.</p><p>Downstairs, everything was quiet. Brendol was sitting at the kitchen table, writing on a notepad, with a cup of coffee next to him. He didn't look up, and Armie preferred it that way... He let the door fall closed behind him, walked down the four, broad stone steps leading up to it and... Free. Go. But... what if Millicent decided to come? Or was in trouble? He had to find her. He couldn't leave her out there...</p><p>Armie began combing through the neighbourhood, calling for Millie, asking around. No one had seen her. No one had seen much of Armie, either, so there were a few kindly faces that wanted to know if he was alright, but he managed to politely disentangle himself, genuinely unsure how to react to such sudden kindness. He gave his number to people, to contact him if they saw Millie, and kept looking. Along the way he met some other cats, a few dogs, and a very persistent squirrel, but no sign of her. Across the road was a park, and it was possible she had run inside here, so Armie walked inside, but soon felt overwhelmed. It seemed hopeless. So many hiding places for such a small cat... His eyes began to fill with tears, and he couldn't stop them, only wipe them away with his sleeve, and - </p><p>
  
</p><p>"Whoa!!"</p><p>"Shit, I'm sorry.", Armie mumbled and raised his head to look at whoever he had bumped into - and fell open-mouthedly silent.</p><p>An angel. In front of him, framed by sunlight, stood an *angel*... A little taller than himself, built like a Greek statue, wrapped in flowing white robes and carrying a a huge pair of feathered wings on his back. His dark hair looked luxurious, soft and shiny, as it fell lazily around his face - and what a beautiful face, with deep, brown eyes, an elegant nose, and full lips - lips that opened into a chuckle, taking in the the way Armie was staring at him.</p><p>"Is it too much? It's too much isn't it. They told me at the shoot that I could keep the clothes, but you know, that doesn't happen that often, so I guess I should have figured why..."</p><p>His voice was so warm. Armie found himself drawn into it, until he parsed the words he said. Oh. He blushed heavily, and cast his eyes down. What an idiot he was. A model. Of course. How could he ever have thought angels existed. And if they did, they wouldn't come *here*, for *him*... It didn't matter that he had just been knocked out, and that his world was practically falling apart, he expected himself to function, not completely lose it to daydreams! Once again, he tasted blood, biting down on his lip which hadn't had a chance to heal yet.</p><p>"Hey man, are you alright?"</p><p>"Uhm... yes. Sorry, Busy, actually. I should get going."</p><p>Armie didn't look up as he mumbled his reply and tried to get past the other man, but a large, warm hand found Armie's shoulder, and stopped him in his tracks.</p><p>"Wait... "</p><p>In a flash, Armie recalled what it had felt like bumping into the man's chest. Safe... Safe? Crazy to think about a stranger that way, how desperate and pathetic he must be to ever think-</p><p>"I was wondering...", the man removed his hand, but only slowly... lingering almost, or maybe that was all in Armie's head - </p><p>"Do you think you could help me? I'm kinda lost.", he pointed at his phone.</p><p>"That's why I was so distracted and didn't see you. I was trying to make sense of this map. I'm no good at directions. It's Alexandra Road I'm looking for." </p><p>It wasn't a lie. He really was bad with directions and maps. So what if he exaggerated a little, this guy was cute and needed help. Maybe this way he'd get to talk to him for long enough to find out what his deal was. And it seemed to be working... Indeed, Armie's awkwardness gave way to helpfulness, and it felt good, being able to focus on someone else for the moment, someone who talked to him as if he was a normal person, and not a tear-streaked mess barely keeping it together.</p><p>"Alexandra Road is across the bridge, back that way, and then across-"</p><p>"Man! I have to go all the way back? I knew I took a wrong turn there. I just *knew* it.</p><p>Armie watched as the wing-wearer dramatically covered his face with his hands, letting them slowly drop while he pulled faces and chuckled at himself. Puppy eyes found Armie's and pleaded.</p><p>"Do you think you could show me how to get there? Just for a little bit, just so I don't - I'm not kidding, I must have been walking around in circles for an hour.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I need to find... someone.", Armie sadly replied.</p><p>"Oh? Can I help you maybe?"</p><p>That turned around fast. How on earth this non-directional man thought he could be of assistance finding Millie was beyond Armie, but what did it matter. He could use the company. This guy felt... comforting in some way...</p><p>"It's my cat, Millie. She ran away this morning, got... spooked. She's ginger, like me, with white boots and bib-", Armie's voice broke with sudden emotion, and he fell silent, staring grimly into space. How was he ever going to find her. And even if he did, he had nowhere to take her, he couldn't leave her at a shelter, he had no friends... he didn't even have her transport box to carry her in. He didn't even - didn't even get to feed her this morning...-</p><p>"Bib? A two piece, with a little diamond on her chin? Because I saw a cat just like that earlier!"</p><p>"What? Where? When?"</p><p>"Ten, fifteen minutes ago, maybe. Back by the playground. Shy, but really sweet. I gave her the ham on my sandwich, she seemed so hungry - I mean, cats always act like they are starving!"</p><p>Guilt had visibly washed over Armie's face, and clearly made the other man reel his words back in. He had to try and get it together...</p><p>"Come on, I'll show you where it was! I'm Kylo by the way.", Kylo said and wrapped his hand around Armie's wrist to pull him along.</p><p>"Armitage"</p><p>"Wow, what a name", Kylo grinned., but quickly added "No, no, I mean it's lovely. Elegant!", when he saw Armie grimacing.</p><p>"So is Kylo...", he replied. </p><p>"Touché." </p><p> Armie smiled a little. That was... kinda cute of Kylo. And he was still holding his wrist. It felt... nice. Kylo was quite aware of the same thing, but also didn't want to stop. Maybe it wasn't regular. Maybe by now the gesture had run its course, and he didn't need to keep holding on to Armitage's slim, pale wrist. But maybe by now it had gone on for so long that stopping it made more of an impact that simply keeping it going.</p><p>And it really was a slim wrist. Delicate, it could vanish inside Kylo's hand. Armitage was almost the same height as him, but a much slimmer build, and yeah, if he wrapped his arms around him, Kylo felt pretty sure Armitage could vanish inside his hold...-</p><p>"Millie!!!"</p><p>"Yes, that's her! Here, kitty kitty";</p><p>"Millie! Sweetie, come here..."</p><p>Kylo fell back, let go Armitage go at last and watched him reunite with his cat.</p><p>It was lovely.</p><p>This was lovely.</p><p>And this was it.</p><p>A sinking feeling started to build in Kylo's stomach. He had only just met Armitage, but.. he wasn't ready to let go of him again. He missed him already...</p><p>"What a sweetheart...", Kylo smiled as he crouched down beside Armitage, who was petting Millicent under her chin. He tried to keep his voice casual, easy-going. </p><p>"So... where are you headed now?"</p><p>Armie felt dread rising up, but bravely swallowed it down. Sure, he had found her, but... what now? He didn't even bring her carrier, and he couldn't go back home - focus. He had to keep it together. So he took off his rucksack, and placed it on the ground, opened it and picked up Millicent, gently putting her inside. She was a trooper and didn't break his pretence that they had done this hundreds of times before. Armie closed the top only as much as would let her stick her head out and keep watching everything, but not enough to jump out and escape - at least he hoped. Kylo chuckled approvingly, which helped Armie to calm down, and he shouldered the rucksack and carefully got up.</p><p>"Shall I still show you how to get to Ally Road?";, he tried to say as lightly as possible.</p><p>"Yes, please!" Kylo beamed.</p><p>"Follow me."</p><p>
  <br/>
</p><p>They started walking, and while they were in the park, stayed silent. It felt easier that way. Armie had Millie, and he was helping Kylo. He tried not to think too far ahead. And Kylo didn't want to push Armie. But when they stepped outside the park, it was as if the park's sunny spell was lifted. It didn't take long and Armie found himself on roads close enough to his house that his shoulders began to hunch, and a shadow grew over his face. By then, they had been silent for so long that Kylo didn't know how to address this in words... He let his hand brush against Armitage's, and in a split-second reaction, Armie held on to it - but only caught a few of Kylo's fingers. Mortifying. Armie's slim fingers, against Kylo's huge, warm hand... it felt so right, too right - but Kylo responded, wrapped his fingers around Armie's, let his hand engulf the ginger-haired's.</p><p>And didn't let go.</p><p>
  <br/>
</p><p>"Well. This is it. Alexandra Road."</p><p>"Great! From here I know Bus 33 takes 14 stops and I'm back at my place."</p><p>Still didn't let go.</p><p>"Right... Well, then...-";</p><p>"Are you hungry?"</p><p>Armie blinked an extra time.</p><p>"Because I'm starving, it's really past lunch time, and I really owe you one for saving me.", Kylo added, still not letting go.</p><p>"No, you don't-", Armie started, but yes, he was very hungry. And yes, he didn't want to stop seeing Kylo. Although... he felt he should. Maybe he had to let this go, for now anyway, he needed to find a place to stay. Maybe the counsellor at college could help. Maybe he could see the nurse there. Or... if all else failed, maybe he could sleep in the library, or crash in the janitor's office. He knew someone had done that last year -</p><p>But he didn't expect Kylo to touch his face.</p><p>Gently.</p><p>Very gently running his finger along the side of Armitage's split lip, and the bruise on his temple.</p><p>A thousand questions in his eyes, none making it past those lips that he was kneading.</p><p>"Please?", was the only word that did, and Armie blinked and nodded and let Kylo pull him along again. Down the street towards the stop, onto the back of the bus, counting 14 stops, and then towards what Kylo said was the perfect little restaurant. And all the while, Kylo didn't let go of his hand.</p><p>
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</p><p>Kylo was right. The restaurant was perfect. The owner knew him, and led them through to a secluded part at the back where they could relax. When he sat down, suddenly it all crashed down on Armie. He found himself nervous that his clothes weren't nice enough, that his face still didn't look right, and where would Millie go? And what if someone saw them? But here, they were safe, private. The waiter brought out food and water for Millie, and even placed a box filled with sand by the private bathroom door, in case she needed to use the facilities.</p><p>"It's a spare one, our own cats haven't used it for a while, so I hope she wont be put off.", he smiled.</p><p>
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</p><p>Armie had worried about money, too, about taking up space, even about eating - but Kylo made space for him. Kylo wanted him here. Ordered food when Armie couldn't choose, got him to try lots of different bits, genuinely seemed to enjoy watching him eat, and definitely was a good inspiration. The man could put away a dish or three easily...</p><p>Warmed up by the atmosphere, the food, and Kylo's company, Armie relaxed and found himself... being witty. Being quick with his words, like he used to be, reverting to his old self it seemed, how he was before things had gotten so much worse. They chatted about books, and history, and music, and video games. Kylo knew a lot of stuff, but whenever he found something Armie knew about, he asked to be taught, as listened with excited interest. Armie was charmed. Time passed easily.</p><p>Until they had eaten all they could, Millie had curled up against Armie's leg, and Armie had started to feel sleepy. Kylo was so close now, their arms almost touching.</p><p>"Can I take you home with me?"</p><p>Kylo's question hung in the air for a moment, Armie unsure if he had heard right, or fallen asleep and was dreaming.</p><p>"I..."</p><p>"My flatmate is away with his partner for two weeks, and he has *all* the consoles in the living room. It'd be so much fun."</p><p>Armie blinked. Of course. They had just talked about games. But wait, no he - he had to get to college... or something.</p><p>"I should... go."</p><p>Kylo kneaded his lip, watching Armie, then placed his hand on Armie's.</p><p>"Back to where you got those bruises?"</p><p>Suddenly, and he didn't know why, but anger spiked up in Armie. Mistrust. Perhaps, because he knew he was vulnerable right now, perhaps because he didn't believe this was happening. It was too good to be true.</p><p>"What do you know about it?", he hissed, shooting Kylo a mean look.</p><p>But Kylo was undeterred. He just gently squeezed Armie's hand.</p><p>"I know you shouldn't live like that. You deserve more. You deserve to be safe. Have you even seen a doctor?"</p><p>"Why do you care so much? Why do you want to try and save me?", Armie replied, but the venom was leaving his voice. Instead, he sounded more and more, small, and tired. So tired.</p><p>"Who says I don't need saving, too?", Kylo answered softly, taking Armie's hand and kissing the back of it.</p><p>"Let me take you to a doctor. Stay with me tonight. Just for tonight if you like. Nothing has to happen, just... be there? With me?"</p><p>Armie frowned, but softly. Kylo seemed genuine. Vulnerable. And his lips felt really good on Armie's skin.</p><p>"And if I want... something to happen?", he asked quietly, not sure how he got the courage, but Kylo's smile was worth it.</p><p>"Anything you want..."</p><p>
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</p><p>The doctor was friendly. He gave Armie a thorough check-up, and also took some blood-work to check him for any deficiencies. He didn't like how pale Armie's gums looked, and how cool his skin felt. Mainly though, he told him to rest, and check if he got worse. Armie decided he didn't consider having to lean against Kylo as they walked to his flat as getting worse. IT was only 15% tiredness. 85% pure comfort...</p><p>
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</p><p>And Kylo hadn't lied. His living room did have all the consoles, even a prototype that Armie had never seen. He got Armie to install himself on an incredibly soft couch, while he went and sorted out a makeshift litter box for Millie and a water bowl. Maybe it was the couch. Maybe it was the soft music that Kylo had put on, or the lingering smell of weed in the room, but by the time that Kylo came back in, Armie had fallen asleep.</p><p>So Kylo sat down on the floor, with his back against the sofa and quietly played, waiting to see if Armie had only dozed off for a moment. But after about an hour had passed, he realised it was a deep sleep, could hear it on Armie's breath pattern, so he picked him up and carried him into his bed, covering him with his duvet. Then he went back into the living room, and kept playing, intending to sleep on the couch. It was another hour or so, when he heard a noise from his bedroom, a noise like crying. He went back into his bedroom, got in behind Armitage and wrapped his arms around him. The crying stopped. The shivering stopped. And Kylo didn't chance it starting up again, he stayed like that all night, falling asleep still holding Armitage close to his chest.</p><p>
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</p><p>For Kylo, waking up with Armitage in his arms was special because he sensed something was special about this guy. For Armie, however, this was completely new. The warm embrace of someone so much stronger than him, he was even scared of how good it felt, and he startled and tried to escape while still only waking up and taking in his surroundings. Kylo, spatially aware that they were close to the edge of the bed, held him tighter, so he wouldn't fall out, and that only increased both the good and the bad feelings in Armie. Good because Kylo didn't let go, bad because he found it hard to trust, and because he was ashamed how much he longed to trust.</p><p>"Let go!", he yelped, and dug his nails into Kylo's arms.</p><p>Kylo startled, and did as Armie asked, then promptly saw him tumble down towards the floor. He would have laughed, but Armie caught his fall expertly, turned around and drew his arms around his chest defensively.</p><p>"What... why... I'm sorry, I don't..."</p><p>"Hey... it's OK. Do you want breakfast?"</p><p>"Why are you helping me?", Armie demanded.</p><p>"We're helping each other.", Kylo repeated from yesterday.</p><p>"I can't... what could I possibly give YOU?"</p><p>"I'm not so perfect, Armitage. All you need is a little help, a bit of a push, and you'll do awesomely. I can tell already. Me, I'm just happy if you... spend some time with me.  I... I don't like being alone... Or with people who don't get me. You get me. Doesn't that work? Don't you need a safe place to stay? You can stay here for as long as you like."</p><p>"In your bed!"</p><p>Armie felt increasingly stupid. Kylo was generous, he was gorgeous, and Armie *wanted* to be in his bed... But he couldn't help it, he felt it had to be too good to be true.</p><p>"Look, I was going to sleep in the living room, I only came back in here because you had a bad dream.", Kylo started, but then ruffled through his hair and took a moment.</p><p>Armie shuffled his feet. Him having nightmares seemed, well, plausible. And embarrassing that Kylo could stop them just by holding him. Armie was so weak, he was so damn weak.</p><p>"Wouldn't... *this here* work better over some coffee?", Kylo offered, looking up with charming puppy eyes under messy hair, and even the fact he was in yesterday's clothes didn't detract from it. And well... Armie was also wearing the same as yesterday.</p><p>"I... could use a shower... if that is OK...", he mumbled.</p><p>"Great! Uh, I mean, to wake up. To wake up, you smell awesome... uhm, yeah so, anyway, sorry..." , Kylo mumbled as he got up and walked towards the door, then paused.</p><p>"Do you have stuff to change into? In your rucksack, like did you pack for this?"</p><p>The forlorn look in Armie's eyes as he glanced at his rucksack and remembered what it contained, told Kylo everything. Book, laptop, notepad, pencils, scientific calculator, chargers, and water bottle. No clothes, no toiletries, nothing...</p><p>"Don't worry about it."</p><p>He walked over to his wardrobe, pulled out a T-shirt, boxers and socks, as well as a towel, placing everything onto the bed.</p><p>"Spare toothbrushes and razors are in the bathroom cabinet, under the sink. Help yourself to everything. Soap, aftershave, anything you want. I'll get the coffee going.</p><p>"Thank you...", was all Armie could bring out, huddling in on himself, feeling stupid, ungrateful, small and pathetic.</p><p>Perhaps it was inadvisable, but Kylo couldn't stand it any longer. He walked up to Armie and wrapped his arms around him</p><p>"It's going to be alright. I promise. It's going to be alright."</p><p>Armie wanted to believe that. So badly. And maybe it was the guilt about being so scared, the fear of being abandoned, but it was also the fact Kylo felt and sounded and smelled so *good*... the way he held him, Armie's face was against Kylo's neck, and so he leaned in and pressed his lips against it. Let them graze over Kylo's skin, breathing shallow against his ear, scared, confused, wanting, wanting so much... Kylo moaned, and Armie kissed his neck properly, bit him lightly... - But when Kylo pulled away, held him by the shoulders, Armie got worried. Did he... had he misread the situation? Was this wrong? Had he ruined everything?</p><p>Kylo was torn. He was sure there was a lot going on with Armitage, and he didn't want to take advantage of him. He realised he was in power, but at the same time he was insecure, and needed this, and... could he allow himself this? Could he allow them both? Rejecting Armitage would be worse, right?</p><p>The way Kylo's lips crashed against Armie's while his hands cupped his face seemed to answer both their questions. They stood like this for a while, kissing, running their hands over each other, pressing against one another. Armie wanted so much, and to go along with whatever Kylo wanted, too, so it was Kylo that pulled them apart again, leaning his forehead against Armie's and smiling.</p><p>"Coffee, hm? Shower, food... Or we might fall into bed and not get out for two days, totally dehydrated and starving... Believe me, it happens!"</p><p>Armie chuckled. He could see Kylo doing that. Personally, he had so little experience, but it didn't seem to matter. It all felt... natural.</p><p>
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</p><p>They had their breakfast and showers, and fed Millicent. Kylo threw Armie's clothes into the wash, and smiled at how cute he looked in Kylo's. He fired up a game while they waited, and Millie curled up on the sofa with them, purring like a little motorboat. And slowly Armie opened up. About his life, when his mother was still alive, then when he was at boarding school, and then - Kylo put his controller down, and put his arms around the gingerhaired when he began to talk about his life with Brendol. Suddenly, Armie remembered Rae Sloane, and went to check his phone. Kylo sat and thought while he waited.</p><p>"I told her I'm somewhere safe... She said to stay put for now, and wait for her to get back to me. I-"</p><p>"Perfect."</p><p>"Thank you... really...", Armie said softly, finally allowing himself to admit that this was a safe place. He sat down next to Kylo, nestling in under his arm when he stretched it out again.

</p><p>"I just wonder what she is talking about. Wait for what? I don't understand all this..."</p><p>
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</p><p>"Ah, my no-good weakling of a son returns? Well, you can take your stuff and leave. Because of you and your lies, I am destitute, so unless you pay your way around here, I'm forced to rent out your room. Don't even think of coming back and mooching off of me again!"</p><p>Armie's fists balled in his pockets, but Kylo's arm around his shoulders was protective and calming... It was just so unfair. Armie had tried to get a job, but Brendol had whined about how it would look. And he needed help around the house. He had money, what he didn't need was a nosey housekeeper who probably only steal from them. And he couldn't do anything himself, because his health of course. But this wasn't even it. Rae had explained it to him. Brendol wasn't the victim of a witch hunt, with a golden severance pay packet, as he had claimed. Of course not. He had stolen research done by junior assistants and bullied them into silence, none more so than Rae's charge Thannison. But then Brendol had wailed about Armitage, how the death of his mother had affected him, and he wouldn't be able to deal with this new shock, and Rae and Thannison had agreed to keep things quiet, if Brendol left. He was given money to tide him over until he found a new job, to make sure that this didn't harm Armitage. Rae had remembered that thin, shy boy, and she wanted him protected. But asking Brendol to do the job, and not just pocket everything himself, well, that was too optimistic... Indeed, because the money she had now cut off, the thing that was making Brendol 'destitute' was money she had personally provided for Armitage's college fund, just in case. Now access had been blocked, and Armitage was free. And not a moment sooner his father was throwing out his things on the side-walk like he was nothing but trash.</p><p>"We are just going to get Armitage's stuff, then we'll be on our way, Sir.", Kylo said calmly, drawing Armie out of his thoughts.</p><p>"Ah, and you need six big guys for that, eh? What a coward.", Brendol croaked, but knew better than to challenge Kylo.</p><p>"Come on, show me you room.", Kylo purred, while two of his friends stayed outside, loading stuff from the side walk into their van, and keeping an eye on Brendol. When he went inside, one of them followed, just in case. He hung around the landing, minding his business, making sure there were no incidents... and it worked.</p><p>"Don't worry. We can clean everything."</p><p>Armie looked up at Kylo with angry tears in his eyes, and went in for a hug. Kylo just....understood him so well...</p><p>
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</p><p>After that, things calmed down significantly. Armie settled in with Kylo, found a part-time job, and started considering his options. He was taking economics classes at a local college, but he hadn't been able to take all the classes in high school that he wanted to. Now he had the chance to get them done, and then choose the major he really wanted. There was so much to choose from... He also got back into touch with some guys from St. Paul's, and slowly he really did blossom up again.</p><p>He worked out with Kylo, he ate regular meals with Kylo, and they slept in the same bed. Armitage was starved for affection, as well as sex, and they tried to take their time to separate things out, now that Armie really was ready. It was frustrating at times, but it was worth it in the end. Sex with Kylo was... incredible. And it felt good that Armie knew he wanted it because he wanted him. That it wasn't gratefulness. It was real desire. And it became real love... When Kylo's flatmate moved out to live with his partner, as Kylo had known for a while and fretted about, Armie didn't have to think twice about officially moving in. Everything was working out.</p><p>Everything really was working out for him.</p><p>And Kylo loved that. He did. He really did. It wasn't that. He wasn't a monster after all. He wasn't sad about Armitage doing well. Or insecure.... Armitage had been through so much. He deserved this. It was wonderful. He was getting better and better,... and he wasn't slipping away.</p><p>No, of course he wasn't slipping away. He had friends again now, he had a life again now, that was how it should be. And he chose to have his life with Kylo. Right?</p><p>Right. And Kylo had been busy with bookings. Right. And after bookings you partied. Too right! And Kylo wasn't a bore, no, he wasn't a loser, no, Kylo could party. Kylo could drink. It was cool. He could drink. He wasn't like his dad, Han. Kylo could control it.</p><p>Armitage had a friend from St. Paul's. Mitaka. They knew each other before Kylo was around. That was cool. That was no problem. Mitaka was really pretty, in a way that Kylo didn't go for, but that looked really fucking perfect next to Armitage. But that was cool. No problem.</p><p>Sometimes when Kylo came home a little drunk, he found Mitaka and Armitage sitting and talking. Mitaka didn't give him strange looks. They didn't whisper about Kylo.</p><p>They didn't sit too close together.</p><p>Kylo hated himself for how he felt, but drinking made that better. He made himself better for Armie. Why couldn't they see that?</p><p>Why couldn't he see that?</p><p>"Why can't you see that?"</p><p>"There is *nothing* going on with me and Mitaka!"</p><p>Armie was leaning against the wall, massing the bridge of his nose. This wasn't happening. He knew Kylo could party a little, but recently... - no, no, this couldn't - Kylo wasn't Brendol, this... this wasn't happening again.</p><p>"You just used me!"</p><p>"What?!"</p><p>Hurt, Armie stared at Kylo staring at him, before Kylo continued.</p><p>"That's right though. You used me and now you're moving on. You're a user. A vampire! A greedy, blood sucking vampire!"</p><p>Fuck!! Kylo knew this was bullshit, this wasn't Armitage, this was about other people in his past, why was he saying this, but he didn't even - he didn't even care, he couldn't say the truth, he could say he was terrified, because that was pathetic and weak. And he was not weak. He wasn't. To underscore that point, he picked up a glass and threw it against the wall.</p><p>And just like that... breaking into a million tiny pieces, glittering and shimmering, he watched as Armie silently picked up Millicent, put her into a transport box and left.</p><p>"Yeah, fuck off to your little boyfriend!!!", Kylo screamed after him, through tears, as the door had already closed, and he was already sinking onto the ground.</p><p>Of course, Armitage was taking Millie away from a monster that caused tiny shards to lie on the floor. She might cut her little paws on them. It wasn't safe. Kylo wasn't safe. He was just like - Fuck. He had to look just like Brendol. No wonder, Armitage wouldn't stick around for that. Kylo was dirt...</p><p>Dirt doesn't apologise.</p><p>Dirt doesn't try to fix it.</p><p>But dirt can still make it go away, by drinking more, and by looking good, and partying hard. So that was what Kylo did. And he knew just where to go. There was a set of people that he had tried to avoid, people who partied way too hard, but now he had nothing to protect anymore, and it wasn't hard to find them. They were happy to see him. Not a friendly, caring crowd, but... he deserved this. He belonged here...</p><p>
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</p><p>Armie still had a key. He had called, the next day, but Kylo didn't answer his calls. And then Armie got mad at himself. It was Kylo who should call. But then he found himself standing outside their flat, turning the key in his hands... The lights were off inside... They had been every time he'd come by. Well, if Kylo was out all this time, the milk had probably gone bad, and Armie should really throw it out...</p><p>Inside, everything looked like it had a week ago. Armie rolled up his sleeves, and got to work. Picking out and hoovering up the glass shards, and trying not to freak out over the blood droplets in the carpet that seemed to indicate Kylo had cut himself on some of them. Or someone else. Armie scrubbed as much as he could, then cleared the tables, dealt with the fridge, threw out the rubbish, and did the dishes. Aired the place out. Resisted the urge to lie down in their bed, take any of Kylo's shirts with him to put next to his cushion at night.</p><p>Well.</p><p>Not entirely.</p><p>One T-shirt, folded neatly into his backpack. If he put it on, it would be little bit as if... Kylo held him..</p><p>
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</p><p>Mitaka's flat was at ground level. Technically, it wasn't a huge problem if Millie jumped out of the window, as the height wasn't dangerous. Even the flat's location, a quiet street next to a small park, was reasonably safe. It was just that Millicent never did that. So Mitaka was beside himself, when Armie came back.</p><p>"I don't know what happened, she meowed and meowed as if she wanted more food. It's one in the morning, but I thought, Alright. But when I had put it out all, she didn't really eat, and I started doing some dishes, so I opened the window, you know, because of the condensation, but - she just leapt through it as if she'd been *waiting* for me to do that all along... I was just about to leave!"</p><p>One in the morning? Armie had totally lost track of time. And Mitaka... had put shoes on. But those trousers were pyjamas. Armie dumped his rucksack, and turned around.</p><p>"It's alright, stay here in case she comes back, I'll go looking for her."</p><p>"I'm so sorry.", Mitaka said miserably.</p><p>"It's not your fault."</p><p>It wasn't anyone's fault. Who knew what had gotten into Millie. Maybe she missed Kylo? He certainly did. He missed him so much... Armie sighed as he started walking and soon entered the park. Last time she ran away, she went to a park, too. Might as well try this. Was this... an OK area though? Armie looked around. It was well lit. Mitaka lived close to a party district, and there was ambient people noise, so yeah, probably this was fine. His arms still wrapped around himself, but probably it was just the cold...</p><p>He didn't expect to find Millie growling, tail bushed out and ears flattened back, and he definitely didn't expect her to be watching someone trying to... steal someone else's -Kylo's?!? - jacket from underneath him-</p><p>"Hey!!!"</p><p>"Fuck off. I'm just messing with my good friend here. It doesn't concern you.", the guy leered, and pulled harder to get the jacket Kylo was trying to hold onto by... by lying on top of it. God this was so helpless. Kylo was wasted, groaning, almost... whimpering? Fuck... Armie had to do *something* But what? He wasn't a match for this guy, he was still quite weak...</p><p>"Lightweight here didn't want to party with us no more. No fun. I just want to borrow his jacket, he owes me this much. Ruined my chances with the ladies tonight."</p><p>Armie should have paid more attention to Millicent, but there was a lot going on. When she meowed and tried to climb up on him, he picked her up without thinking. And yeah, sometimes she had then climbed up on his shoulders, so he didn't notice that so much either. But the next second he felt her launch herself, followed by a strangled cry coming from the creepy guy, and when Armie looked he saw that she had attached herself to his face. Scratching his scalp and biting down, while the guy tried to grab at her - but she bit his hand hard, and he yelped and let go, dancing around, trying to get her stop.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Kylo couldn't believe his bleary eyes.</p><p>"Armitage. Is that really you? This isn't a fucked up dream?"</p><p>"It's really me, Kylo."</p><p>"I'm so fucking sorry...I'm so sorry, sweetheart...", Kylo cried.</p><p>"Let's get you up. Can you stand?"</p><p>"I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you... I fucked it all up...", Kylo sobbed.</p><p>"No, you didn't. I mean... I'm sorry, too, I got scared. This is scary to me, but... I don't want to let you go. I... don't."</p><p>Kylo sniffled, and took Armie's hand.</p><p>"Do you... still believe in me? That I... I can get better?"</p><p>Armie threaded their fingers together. </p><p>"If you want to, I believe you can do anything..."</p><p>Somewhere to the side, the guy yelped as Millie bit him a final time, before letting him go to run away. Triumphant, she returned and hopped up onto the bench, purring and headbutting Kylo. His tears fell on her fur, as he petted her gently.</p><p>"She sensed you were in danger, you know. She loves you."</p><p>"I love both of you. So much... Never wanna put you through that again. Gonna get help. I know where to go! There's this place, my dad went there. I know where to go. I promise you, Armitage. I'm gonna do it...</p><p>Armie kissed Kylo's hair, before helping him to get up. Mitaka's place was closest, so he took him there. Kylo was too fucked up and way too fucking sorry to be anything but nice and quiet with Mitaka, and Mitaka had always felt bad about Kylo, so he was happy to be helping a little bit at least. Before he went to sleep, Kylo sent a text to his Dad, asking him to come pick him up in the morning.</p><p>With Leia.</p><p>And also, that they should finally meet Armitage...</p><p><br/>
</p><p>Sunbeams dancing on the tip of Armie's nose, and all across his forehead. Making his pale skin glow with gentle warmth. Running down into his red-golden hair. He smiles and closes his eyes for a moment, his hand in Kylo's.</p><p>A wild meadow, with some trees off to the side, and a little path where they parked their car, before walking right into this sea of green and flowers...</p><p>The stalks coming up to their calves, brushing against them as they walk, hand in hand...</p><p>There, before them, a hillside begins, leading up towards a mountain, reaching up into wide open sky. Armie's breath deepens, clearing his mind and making him feel strong. Hopeful Capable. Today, they will start climbing this first mountain. They will. Because one day, "One Day" is Today.</p>
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